Finding Your Self: This Is Who I Really Am

Sometimes what we perceive is a mirror reflection of who we are.

Do you like what you see?

As always, thank you to everyone around the world who follows my writing and thank you again for forwarding the blog link to friends.

Happiness and friendship is never diminished because it is shared.

Margaret

Finding Your Self
In the early 1980’s, Dr Richard Schwartz, Ph.D. worked as a family therapist. During his sessions with clients, he began to notice that some clients, those with eating disorders, would have internal dialogues with a pessimistic part of themselves that was either urging them to eat or purge the food from their body. As he explored this further with one client called “Diane”, he discovered that he was not talking to what he perceived as Diane, but to a part of her that was constantly engaged in an on-going war with a pessimistic voice that was constantly telling her that she was hopeless. When he asked her to directly inquire why the pessimist was always saying this, it said that it was protecting her from taking risks and getting hurt. Diane felt that this voice made her life a continuous struggle.

As he explored further, he discovered that there was also an angry voice inside Diane that pushed her to achieve while the pessimist voice told her she was hopeless. He invited her to ask the angry voice to “step-back” and to tell him how she now felt toward the negative voice. He reports that Diane immediately responded gently, in a more relaxed manner and compassionate state, appreciating the negative voice for caring about her, for trying to protect her, and for having to work so hard to make itself heard.

From that point on it was easy for Diane to handle the pessimist and to deal with her situation.

Dr Schwartz conducted on-going research into the inner voices with many of his clients. Upon reaching the calm, compassionate state they all gave, in their own words, the same response;
I am not like those other voices,
This is who I really am,
That’s my Self.

For the next twenty years, he has refined his research into teaching clients to reach their Selves. Likewise, he teaches therapists to also release baggage and perceived agendas and to get in touch with their real Self through his Center for Self Leadership (CSL) which has trained over 10,000 people in this approach since 2000.

Self-Awareness
We have all heard the inner voices that Dr Schwarz identified; the ones that discourage, ridicule, or worse. There are several clinical methods that can be used to declutter the mind from the constant static and to heighten awareness of the Self.

Just as research into the Self is now accepted and funded in America, meditation has also been researched with even deeper research examining the effect of meditation within the DNA of cells. Today’s technology enables us to see the physiological and chemical changes that occur throughout the whole body.

Self-Reflection
In many cultures, the Self was already known and spiritual and philosophical ideas arose through the practice of being in contact with the Self.

Meditation has been used for thousands of years for self-reflection, self-awareness, healing, enlightenment and connecting with the Self. It draws your attention away from a particular object or illness to an overall knowledge and feeling of inner calmness and peace. The mind concentrates less on individual problems or issues and settles instead on promoting an inward focus, enabling the mind and the body to experience a profound state of restfulness. In turn, the brain becomes balanced, while the mind and body move beyond thinking, to simply being.

Yet many people live their life following the same routines and habits, sometime without remembering why, and don’t know why or how to begin making simple changes that will bring positive transformation to their professional and personal lives.

Meditation
Meditation allows a heightened state of awareness to evolve and with this newfound clarity comes an understanding of needs, purpose, and the ability to implement change with confidence. Thoughts lessen as the mind develops inner vision and learns how to develop single-pointed focus. Like most things in life, meditation takes practice but it can easily be learned bringing with it the rewards of purpose and self awareness.

This increased level of awareness helps practitioners make subtle changes in diet, activity, and other lifestyle choices while improving interactions through enhanced empathy, understanding, and greater perception of life situations.

Affirmation

Affirmations are powerful statements about what you want to create in your life.
Balance your actions with awareness of thoughts and clarity of vision.
Noticing how and when you respond to situations gives you the ability to choose your thoughts and subsequent actions.
Envisage a clear and positive outline for your future by retaining only that which is positive and beneficial to you.

With each inhalation I breathe in ….. (what you need)

With each exhalation I release …..(what you don’t need)

I pay attention to why I think what I do

I pay attention to why I do what I do

I pay attention to how I affect the world around me

I am filled with love and happiness

5 Ways to Increase Self-Awareness

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Anais Nin

When I teach a yoga, meditation, and pranayama class participants leave the session relaxed, refreshed, peaceful and often clearer about a particular issue in their life. While meditation does bring bliss and a release from the world, it does not mean that people who meditate are not consciously aware of the needs of themselves or the people around them, nor are they unaware of what is happening in the world.

Meditation enables a heightened state of awareness to evolve and with this newfound clarity comes an understanding of needs, purpose, and the ability to implement change with confidence.

Yet many people live their life following the same routines and habits, sometime without remembering why, and don’t know why or how to begin making simple changes that will bring positive transformation to their professional and personal lives.

There are more than 5 ways to increase your self-awareness but that would read more like an essay than a blog posting so in the interest of space and your time I have selected 5 easy-to-implement techniques that will enable you to influence the way that you think and promote heightened self-awareness.

Awareness Research
Numerous awareness studies that use some form of meditation report similar findings of positive benefits by program participants. One particular six-week study by the University of Ohio examined the effects of meditation on stress. The negative effects of long-term stress and its contribution to chronic disease are well-documented. The members of this study who were a part of a meditation group reported that they were more aware of external stressors, they felt less stressed by life events, and they fell asleep more easily, unlike the control group who did not experience any benefits.

This type of research in invaluable to companies who are seeking to reduce their health-care costs as meditation training is inexpensive, does not require special equipment, and is transportable as it can be practiced most places.

To the individual, it is the increased level of awareness that helps them to make subtle changes in diet, activity, and other lifestyle choices. Interactions improve as empathy, understanding, and perception of situations become clearer.

Awareness at Work
Clarity of self and vision empowers you to make better life choices as well as to consciously act on your thoughts, knowing that your decisions are based out of an awareness of who you are and what you need.

Jim Rohn said "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

When you stop to think about this simple yet profound statement it encourages you to really think about where you are in life, who you have around you, and why. How can you make the best decisions if you are not consciously aware of your thoughts or actions?
Awareness helps you to relinquish the status quo and make the gradual shift to a new you who has control and influence over your own life.

Five Ways to Increase Your Self Awareness
1. Understanding what motivates you
Sit down and make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest about all of them as chances are if you can see them, so can other people. Challenge yourself to think of those areas in your life that you want to do different or enhance.

2. Your Habits
What are your core values in life? How do you measure success?
When thinking about your habits be specific. How do people act around you and why do you think this is? How do you act around other people and why?
What habits do you keep repeating that you want to release.
Self awareness is a gradual process and change will not occur overnight, nor is it a quick fix. You will begin with one area that you want to improve and work on that until you feel that you are ready to move onto another.
Learning is a lifetime activity and we stop growing when we stop evolving and increasing our knowledge base.

Wisdom evolves from within.

3. Your Purpose
You are unique. Don’t compare yourself to others.

The American author Kurt Vonnegut wrote the following; “Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.”

Ask questions specific to your needs such as :
What habits do I want to change?
Am I happy with…?
Do I want to…?

By looking at what you have written, you may see a trend or pattern arise. A useful technique is to separate yourself from what you have written and think about how you might advise a fellow co-worker or friend who was in such a position.
This helps you to separate emotions from the decisions you have to take, identify what you want to do in life, and be happier with your choices.

In yoga philosophy there is a well-known saying “All Knowledge is Within.”

Trust that you have the knowledge within you to know your purpose.

4. Release the Past; Journaling
Writing your thoughts down is helpful for some people and this is another option that you may wish to try to release unconscious thoughts and habits. By writing events and conversations down you may notice a pattern of behavior or gain clarity and insight into a trait that you were unaware of.
Let the past go and know that you have a choice about what you do now.

It is what you do NOW that will shape and evolve the future.

5. Experiencing the Moment

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!

Look to this Day!

For it is Life, the very Life of Life.

In its brief course lie all the

Verities and Realities of your Existence.

The Bliss of Growth,

The Glory of Action,

The Splendor of Beauty;

For Yesterday is but a Dream,

And To-morrow is only a Vision;

But To-day well lived makes

Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,

And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.

Look well therefore to this Day!

Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

Kalidasa (5th century Sanskrit scholar)

Meditation is the easiest method to begin to increase awareness of self. As mentioned earlier it is inexpensive to learn yet the benefits are many.
The following link will give you a basic introduction to a simple meditation.
How to Meditate

Peace